Good Morning America, How Did You Sleep?

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost, in the sounds

You never know how much you love someone until you dont have them anymore. And I was so stupid and untrustworthy. They were just rumors, and a jealous ex girlfriend. And I should have seen this coming. She was suddenly so nice and loving. She had her pray in her cluches, and I just gave up after a struggle. But talking helps too. I haven`t talked to her yet. But when monday rolls around, I`m talking to her and asking her. He`ll be right by my side for help, thankfully. You wanna know how I made this desion? Hah, it`s actually pretty funny. It was one forty-eight. Almost two in the morning. I was just about to fall asleep when those stupid little voices in your head come and give you advice. You know the ones that come at the worst time, after you think you`ve made up your mind. Well, they came and they did this little video of how my life was before and after i started going out with him[Brandan]. Well, I saw that I looked and felt alot happier after he asked me out. And then the voices told me to compare it to the feeling of losing him. It was horrible. Ofcourse I cried, and ofcourse I tried calling him. But all I could think of was how I doudted him and thought he was telling me lies. But I thought- well the voices thought- that a relationship is built around trust and honesty. And plus, I`m pretty good when it comes to telling wheather people are telling me a lie. I trust him. Alot. So I texted him- yes at six six-teen in the morning. I told him I was sorry and that I believe him. I feel really bad though, because I told my bestie- who betted that me and him won`t last- that we were done. But I texted her also and told her I made up my mind and that i trust him and what not; Pretty much what I told him, except that it had more of my feelings for him and an apolizing note saying I`m sorry it was so early in the morning. Hah, she`s not a morning person. So now I feel happy and glad that things might be back together. I hope they are. I love him.[Most people don`t believe it either. But they don`t know how i work]

Monday man, it`s gonna be interesting. The drama will be here, and I might be mad at the begining, but lets just hope it all blows over. Thid id probably the longest blog I`ve ever written with a passionate feeling in me. Hah. FACT: I will be doing my hundred and one truths over again soon. I don`t know exactly when, but I will.
Ily...