Black and White With Glitter and Feathers. Im So Hyped:]

"I guess you are right. I am afriad. I am afraid to put my guard down. I am afriad that if you know all that i am, you wont feel the same. And I`m afraid that once my barrier is defeated and im comfortable, that you`ll walk away...."

I don`t know why im getting so excited now, I still have almost four months. But HE`s gonna be my date. And it`s semi-formal so he has to wear a tux, and black looks really good on him so thats not a probalem. At least not for me;] Of course that also means I have to wear a dress. But I found a black and white one at Deb. It`s soo pretty. The skirt part is white and has ruffles or waves at the trim/edge. The top part. The part that covers your chest....hehe....Its white with lace infront of it. Its also like scrunchy so it looks super adorable:] The straps are spaghetti straps and theres a black band that goes around it with a silver ring in the middle:] I`m gonna wear that with my hair in curls and ballet flats. I have no clue why im planning this all out NOW. I have FOUR months to go. Wow im so strange.
My mask is gonna be wildly awesome. Its gonna be black with white glittery designs. Which i will create. And its gonna be a tie on mask, so i dont have to hold it all day...night:]
Today was ok. I gave HIM a note that ive been wanting to give him since sixth grade. He wrote me back. I read it. My heart rate got faster and i still have butterflies:]

Im Lost Without You
By Blink-182

I swear that I can go on forever, again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips, and with one kiss we begin

Are you afraid of being alone?
'Cause I am,
I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight?
'Cause I am
I'm lost without you

I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now?
I can hear footsteps, I'm dreaming
And if you will keep me from waking, to believe this

Are you afraid of being alone?
'Cause I am
I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight?
'Cause I am
I'm lost without you

Are you afraid of being alone?
'Cause I am
I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight?
'Cause I am
I'm lost without you

Are you afraid of being alone?
'Cause I am
I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight?
'Cause I am
I'm lost without you

I'm lost without you...
I'm lost without you...
I'm lost without you...
I'm lost without you..
I'm lost without you...

Lovely Poet He Was Indeed:]

It`s not the original video but this one is just as adorable:]
Everytime I hear this song I think of being in the arms of a lover, it`s snowing out, and I`m just walking down a path with him. It just makes me smile and blush, like the thoughyt of it NEVER gets old. But of course.....i doubt that would ever happen to me. Dreams dont have any luck with me....never did...probably never will. But dreaming is just a nice.....sometimes.

Today i was hyper. I was still pumped from the night before. The school halloween bash/dance. I was leaning against the wall with my friend John and he`s like " Rap music isn`t my thing, i can`t dance to it. Metal music and moshing...now thats MYYYY thing." I couldn`t help but laugh. So i got him out on the dance floor and taught him some moves. Not saying i no how to dance...honestly i dont but i just did what everyone else was doing. Ahaa. He started doing the electric slide and i was like "YES! you got it....." And then he started headbanging and screaming. Once again i was laughing.
This kid Newt....yea he`s my science partner. He`s like "We should do a movie!!!" He was jumping in his seat and whatnot. So sunday im gonna ask my dad if i can visit him and make our project[the movie] on his laptop and then perfect it. I personally think the movie`s gonna be AMAZING and HILARIOUS. He`s so funny....and we have an IDEA of how we`re gonna make the movie. I know I`m gonna use signs and speak as little as possible:] Im just cool like thatXD
I`m going to my dad`s this weekend. Halloween is tomorrow so my daddy`s thinking about taking us up to a haunted corn feild or halloween festival in Millville. It`s gonna be interesting.
I`m eating a cherry Tootsie Pop. Yummy in my tummy. Out of everyone in my grade....me and a few other people can`t take our laptops home:[ I never got the contract signed so i cant take it home until monday. BOOOOOOOOO.
Well.....imma go and pack for my daddy`s:]
Twitter> SammyOhMy
Stay updatedXD

Intense. Click Here:]

The smoke clears and in whispering waves of self-mutilation I can see the dark sky fall to pieces.
The world is sometimes too heavy to breath and the dead surround me like an ocean.
I can’t recognize the reflection looking back through the mirror.
I only grasp the concept of what it’s like to walk through life with a stranger holding a knife to my neck.
The empty shell of a shattered boy I know possess is my new skin.
Pain is my only horizon, hate, is my only form of flattery, ugly is the world around me and nowhere beyond the infinite infrastructure of the eternal lonely soul can my blackened heart be found.
If you want a glimpse of torment and bittersweet visions delight, I’ll gladly cut my head off so you can look down the hole.
Nothing there will bring the joyful bliss you crave.
Drinking lighter fluid to start a fire inside my guts, I am on a slow painful ride through the underbelly of hell and I wont mind if this is where we say goodbye and go our separate ways.

I am inside of you.
Living and breathing.

I am William Control

"This world wouldn`t be the same without you." B.S

"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.

~Tom Masson

I hate when people tell you one thing, and theyre devoted to what they said. Until YOU make a choice THEY don`t like. Then they get mad at you and you have nothing to say because you didnt EXPECT this to happen. It`s like they like you... Until you make, say, or do the wrong thing. I mean, I can understand some things, but seriously. Telling him I love him was a waste of breath.

Lies, cheats, and fake all mixed with your venom filled words. You smeared them here, across my face. I only stood and let it happen, therefore, I have no one but myself to blame. I love you still, though I don`t know why? Perhaps it`s because of how you cake sugar onto the evil words that escape your lips. Or maybe, yet I am baffled by this, it is how you appear. As if you are wise, harmless, honest. I know now, your skin is dead. You are dead to me. I trust you, but only parts of you. You say your heart beats pure and free of guilty. That is a falsehood. You know what you do. You know why you do it all. Saying you mean every word... Ever word you`ve said. Lies. All lies. You have many sides. Some show off more then others, scaring off the good in you, causing it to hide in dark corners, never being able to be found. Causing them to slowly disappear. I`ve lied to your face. I`ll shall admit. I`m filled to the brim with guilt, and my dreams have become wicked because of it. I love you, yes. As a person. I love how you handle things, how you react to things. But you`re becoming fake. Making it hard for me to have a reason to love you. I can barely keep up with you anymore. You are always willing to get. And occasionally give. But, you don`t have enough heart to be giving away. You were born with only ONE heart. Sharing something that size can be tough. Just stop this madness. Stop being forged. Stop molding yourself into something you`re not, when you can be so much more.

..."Just Lies."
<3

Banana Colada:]

"Death is a Promise...."

HE left me. I guess he history haunted me and i couldnt believe him when he said it wasn`t true. But it`s what he wanted and what made him happy...so its on the good side...kinda. But we`re still friends, we`re still going trick or treating unless something pops up for one of us. I dont know.
[19:27] s4mm dee: purple hippos?
[19:27] block: what?
[19:27] s4mm dee: idk
[19:28] s4mm dee: guess what
[19:28] block: what
[19:28] s4mm dee: i had blue moutian dew for the first time
[19:28] block: good?
[19:28] s4mm dee: yess
:]<3^
I miss those conversations. They dont happen as often as they did. Only when we`re both hyper or in a really good mood. It makes me sad....but im coping...im trying to think he doesnt care so i can handle it better...but he does and it makes it worse. Don`t get me wrong, i love him and would love being friends with him. But sometimes....i can`t handle it. Some would say it jealousy, but i don`t think so because even whens single...it hurts.

http://twitpic.com/kfa6h
^Aha...thats a great photo..blacka nd white[a classic]. I actually didnt want to be in this picture, but he kinda pulled me in it. It tunred out good though, so I`m happy:]

The first song on my blog[the page your reading this on] is stuck in my head. Its odd too, because i NEVER listen to this stuff unless im with my bestie or my mom wont let me change the station. Aha. Wow.

It was HIS first football game...[:

Does anyone know when 'Where The Wild Things Are' comes out? I want to see it rather badly. Aha...it was my FAVORITE book when i was a littlie...kinda still is. Hah. Serious face; i wanna see it and i NEED to know the date of it... so when you have a clue when it comes out....im thinking you should let me in on the buzz:]kthnxlove:P

So there was a football game last night for the Groves highschool Brah:] I went...HE came....its was fun....my daddy met him...i was excited. Of course there was some crap that went down....but its blew over.To much amazement and not enough words.

So i found a new costume..im still gonna be a pirate....but a different pirate...I thinks its cute..but i like the other one better:[. Red...and black....ok seperate, jusut not together..in my opinion at least. I gues ill just have to deal. Which i can..so no worries.Hah.

ITS OCTOBERTHIRD!!!
Twenty-eight more days until Halloween nukka. Im hyped/stoked out the butt for this man. L-O-L. i made a funny. I`m still go trick or treating with HIM..so it`ll be fun:]

Schedule:
-showaaaa/get ready
-chill a bit
-pack
-leave for MOUNTAIN VALLLEY
-hike a bit
-come home[not before going to starbucks]
-aim
-sleepXD


TTYL....<3:]

I hate the Sick Monster:|

So I'm at home, not at school. Where I should be. But I'm sick. I got attacked by the sick monster. I think my sister gave him to me. Blaaa. And at school is the only place I get to see my love. And I miss him. It sucks. But Friday I'll feel better ,hopefully. The makeup work, the annoying teachers and the people. Holycrap! My classes are GER-ATE. I have almost all of them with caleb so when we're bored we make jokes and work on our numberland.
Our numberland=love and fun:] I'll post all the numbers we have so far later or tomorrow. It's amazing. We just take numbers and make then do something, make them a person, date, or just a random thought. Yes we memorize them, we have most of them in order, but we skip around ALOT. HaHa:] Alot of them are inside jokes we have with eachother or other people. It's so funny.

Schedule:
-Bum around
-Go with mum and bro to dentist
-Bum around a bit more
-Get hair cut
-Clean room
-Convience mum to let me get spiderbites:]
^ I doubt it'll work. It's worth a try thought.