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"It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all."  -Unknown:[

I know it`s an ungodly hour, but I just cant seem to sleep. My eye lips feel so heavy  but every time I close them I feel wide awake. Like I could run a mile..... but I would probably never do that for fun.... at least not yet. My friend Kayla was suppose to sleep over as well, and she was here, had her bag and everything, but she started to feel sick and missed her mom. I felt so bad. Like I dragged her over here.... but we kinda planned this like  on the spot.
I`m thinking of starting to do something creative. Like starting an artline or  something. I want to do something unusual. Something most kids my age DON`T do. I have no clue what, so I think I`ll do some research tomorrow. Or later today. I`m not even sure there is such thing as an artline. Maybe it`s a line of art[teachers always say never define a word with the words]  that has a theme to it, or like it all revolves around one thing. Not sure, but it sound pretty good.
Tomorrow Kayla might be coming over. I HAVE to work on my task. I probably wont get it done until later tonight.  I got to stop doing that. Oh lovely...another goal to the list. I think I`m going to write al these down if I`m going to keep up with them. And I will. I want to. I need to get these down.
Honestly, I`m looking forward to tuesday. I want to see him badly and  I kinda need to hear his voice. I feel like it`s my fault he`s in trouble. Even though I know it`s not.  I just hope his parents weren`t too hard on him. He is only a kid-teenage boy- they do get in trouble alot, and do the wrong thing. That`s why parents are there to help them do what`s right
To be loving and caring, looking out for their child all the while. Oh listen to me....I sound like mother.  Not that I don`t love kids and all, but it sounds like I am a mom. Like I`m around them all the time. I`ve actually been told I`d be a great mom. Which, in all actuality, is kinda creepy. It`s like people are watching you, waiting for you to have you`re first child and just see how you handle it.  It`s so frusterating. Makes you want to scream and yell...... but I won`t. I don`t like screaming or yelling. It hurts my throat ,and I don`t think I have the guts to see the sad expression on someone`s face.